Monday, August 02, 2010

My Maternal Grandmother

She’s a great old soul and not shy to swear a mile a minute when one needs a good tellin’ off…lol

I have often listened to Grandma tell me about the times when my mom and uncle were young, how she would walk instead of taking the bus, how she’d just have peanuts and black coffee for lunch, how she’d stretch her meager income to raise her children so that they could have nutritious food to eat and a chance at a good education.

Those struggling days are long gone. Her children have all grown up now. My Mom is in the UK unfortunately, far far away. And my dear Grandma, in her Golden Years, well, she’s in the Golden Age Nursing Home. Living by herself amongst the abandoned and unwanted.

Mom, I know you have told me that there is nothing that we can do or say to change this, as Grandma is stubborn and still insistent on doing whatever keeps her closer to her son. But how can someone leave their Mom, the MOM that had struggled and single-handedly raised him, in a Nursing Home that smells of decay, stale urine and desperation?

Every time I visit, I cannot sit for longer than 10 minute because I am overcome by the smell of stale urine. Every time I visit, I have to stand outside this Tall Tall Padlocked Gate and wait for the help to open the gate and it is hurriedly locked behind me as I enter. The slope of the driveway puts a ski slope to shame.

Tell me is this the Thank You that Grandma deserves? Is this where she is to spend the rest of her remaining years? This sucks mum.

I’ve been trying to think positive, be positive and look on the bright side. I know that Yes she is no longer staying alone in her hot hot room by herself everyday, Yes, she now gets 3 square meals a day cooked for her, but that’s all superficial, that’s not what matters.

How does she really feel inside? How does her heart feel? She is in a place that is not her Home. She should be with the people she loves. How can Uncle do this to her?

:(

That long winding road

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