That long winding road

 The harder things become,

The more I need to celebrate the small wins,

The tiny hurdles I overcome,

Every small step I can move, may it be 

forward, sideways… diagonally…

Or even if it means taking a step back to stop to breathe,

I won’t beat myself myself up over it.

I want to be okay to pause,

I want to allow the chance to rethink my steps,

I will, will myself to be okay to make mistakes,

Because it will only be a true mistake if I stubbornly carry on because of my ego.

But it will be part of my learnings if I admit defeat, take a detour and find a better option.

Life is not about having everything in place every time.

It is about walking the path,

Finding my way in the light and the dark.

Sometimes trusting my instincts when the road is misty and my thoughts murky..

Just one step at a time…

Believing in myself and trusting that no matter how much I fail.

I will get up and try again.

Every journey starts with the person I see in the mirror.

And that is me.

Pinochio 2012 - 13th June 2021

                                        13th June 2021 3.37pm

Today I close a chapter of my life. 

Closed but forever treasured.

Often to be revisited and opened to smile at the wonderful memories embedded inside.

I lost my little pinochio today, part of my heart died with her.

She was the tiniest creature with the biggest character.

She came into my life in 2012 and for the next 9 years she walked all over me and trampled everlasting pawprints all over my heart.

She was fiercely independent, noisy, busybody, bossy, fierce and a ball of pure feisty.

My sunshine and rain, my fire and snow. My thunder and lightning. 

My love and my soul.

She leaves a huge hole in my heart.

In My home.

And in my life.

I hoped I gave you a good happy life my feisty girl.

Because you sure made my life such a colourful one.

There will never be another pinochio like you.

You will always be my sunshine girl.

I will try not to dwell on the fact that we lost you.

But instead be so very thankful that we had the pleasure of having you grace our lives for so many wonderful years my darling girl.

I will miss you. Forever and always.

And I will love you. Forever and always.

 

The first day after, today was harder than yesterday...

                                                      Pinochio 

Your tiny Stature

Left a big hole

A huge void

That leaves me feeling so hollow

I don’t know when I will stop crying every time I think about you.

I look and look hoping that this is all a dream

But I know inside 

That this is the reality I need to live with

From now on.

It hurts so bad.

I am so glad I made every effort to kiss you more

Hug you more

Love you even more than my heart could bear.

Something was nagging at me 

Telling me something

I tried to keep going to the vet to check

But as always

You did things on your own terms

You changed a few habits

I logged on to them

And hugged you even closer

Every second I could find the time

But I thought I would have just a little bit more time.

Just a little bit more.

But I guess there never is enough time 

Is there my little tinipinintio

Timpantio punitio Tim Tim tio.

 

When you lose a part of your heart....

 Pinochio

14th June 2021

Mummy cannot function today baby girl.

You left such a hole.

I will continue to keep writing to you.

Maybe you can feel it 

When the universe sends these notes to you in heaven 

I know in time,

The pain will dull.

I will not write so much anymore

But not because I have forgotten you

But because I have to continue living

You would have wanted the brother dog  and sister cat you left behind to still have a mummy’s love.

This is so hard my baby girl.

So very hard.

I miss you.