If I could turn back time................

Id wish it to be 2000 again. The new millenium.

But if indeed I could turn back time, I wouldn't have this little human that gives me reason to live and breathe today...............

If I had to choose, would I have lived life differently...?

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

I have given it all, I have done the best I can. I have fought the good fight and now, It is time to take a bow and a step back.

God, I leave it in your hands, to strengthen my faith and guide me through life's journey from here. I was told that all that you do, you do for a reason, I still believe in you and know that you are there with Daddy, looking out for me from where all the good men go.

Maybe only time can heal me, maybe only me can heal me..........whatever it may be, as a part of me dies, a new spirit grows, I hope to be stronger and more resilient and wiser to the world.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life............a single red leave alone on granite, although cold, deep red blood still runs through my veins and I will survive.

And I hope one day I will be..............

A penny for my thoughts....?

If you needed a penny for every thought in my head. I'd be richer than Warren Buffet by now.....................

The meaning of my life!

As a typical mother, I worry every moment about your safety and pray and hope that you will be safe and sound every time I leave the house to go to work. I keep a watchful eye on you whenever I can to make sure that you are out of harms way.

I pray each day that God will help to look after you and hope that you grow up to be a good person and will lead a full and productive life.

I do believe that you and your brother will be the only kids I will have the pleasure of having in my lifetime, hence it is with a bit of overprotectiveness that spills over with my treatment of you daily. Forgive your mom for that.

Each time you voluntarily hug me, each cheeky grin, each time you subconciously reach out to hold my hand when you are asleep, these memories are filed away dearly to be remembered when you grow up and become more independent and don't need Mummy so much anymore as you begin to explore and experience the world around you.

But till that day comes, I will cherish every naughty totally exasperating thing that you do and even though you awake each night to crawl into bed with me and slumber again between your Da da and me, it's okay......I do so love your baby smells and sturdy body in my arms as I too fall asleep again.

So baby boy, know that Mummy loves you lots and dear God, please keep this naughty person safe and sound and let him grow up and grow old beyond us.

My heart and soul is all wrapped up in this naughty bundle of energy.

Daddy.

It's been a year Daddy, sometimes when I miss you badly, I try to conjure up your smile and it's sad to realize that my image of you in my mind's eye is slowly fading. But do you know what is wonderful? I see you live on in Andre, his cheeky smile the shape of his face, his naughty and mischivieous grin, it's all you Daddy!

I will always miss you terribly, what I had feared most actually happened one year ago today, you left me forever and although the pain has ebbed, I know I will never hear your voice or see your dear face again until the day I too move on to where you are.

I know you are in heavan, where you belong, you had a big heart and a wonderful soul, something I hope will be inherited by myself and your two grandsons.

Take care Daddy, know that I will always love you deep in my heart.

Au revoir till we meet again someday. Be happy watching us from up above.

From your loving daughter.

February 13th 2007.

Now you see him, now you don't!

Always on the move, run, skip jump, hop , roll around........every day I thank god for giving me this healthy gorgeous baby boy!
He is now a little person, able to look at me from the corner of his eye slyly when he knows I am admonishing him for something naughty that he has done.....Joy of joys!

But! He still has his milk 12midnite when he goes to bed, 3am, 6am, 8am............where does it all go to.......

MAMYPOKO!

he he he!

Mama jinxed it.....she told you guys...so this morning I got up at 5am and asked for milk!!!!!! Ha hahahahahahaha ha!

Love,

Andre.

I slept thru' the night!

On the 23rd of September 2006, when I became 2 years and ten days old.....I decided to give Mama a break....I took three bottles of milk before I went to bed at midnight and slept right till to 7am the next morning before i jabbed Mama in the eye again for my milk milk!

Mama was so happy, but she kept quiet and did not tell anyone, in case she jinxed it and I started to cry again for my 3am 5am 7am feeds....kekekekekeke!

I also slept till 7am on Sunday.....today is Monday the 25th of Sept.......Mama is wondering if I will continue to behave........???????

Me eyes still hurt!

Its been 2 months and since June I have been plagued with these swollen red painful eyes. This is my third attack, sigh.......boo hoo hoo!..............

My toddling milestones.

At 21 months - I threw my pacifier at Mama and refused to suck on it ever again.
At 22 months - I finally decided to put Mama out of her misery and I finally said this out loud "Mama!" Man you should have seen her smile.....like she struck lottery!......Now she may be a bit irritated with me coz my new vocab only consist of MAmamamamaamammammama.............mamamamaamamamammamama..............and mama! Hehehehe!

Me eyes hurt!

I had such a great time last week! Ma ma let me start swimming lessons with Ko Ko Ming in the pool. I swam with Ko Ko Ming and Aunt Bella on Monday and Tuesday. Then had playgroup in the pool again on Wednesday. It rained Thursday so I stayed home. Then I swam again on Friday yay!

Now look at me...boo hoo.....my eyes bengkak, Ma Ma took me to Doctor on Saturday, Dr. Kuljit said I may be allergic to the chlorine in the water hence I have been banned form the pool this whole week. Sigh!

Just when you are having fun........ouch....my eyes hurt...rub* rub*

Mama pain...itchy..............can I go swim next week?